Since Colorado voted to legalize marijuana for recreational use in January, that vote has created more then 20 white marijuana millionaires who the Government has allowed to store their millions in U.S. Banks.
Keep in mind that there are more then 100,000 black and latino people who are in American prisons for the same simple possession and intend to sell marijuana.
BUT THEY MAKING WHITE BOYS MILLIONAIRES FOR COMMITTING THE SAME ACT!
It is really healing and powerful to learn to accept yourself, and come to terms with the things you can’t change about your life or who you are. BUT it is also important to strive to be the best you can, and take personal responsibility. The balance between these two is something I think about so much and struggle with. It can be really freeing and take a lot of pressure off if you just think ‘this is the way I am and there’s no point trying to change’ but how do you know you’re not just allowing yourself to settle into an ultimately damaging rut? I really do think the happiest people are those who feel they have some control over life and it’s outcomes, rather than feeling that things just happen to them without agency and other people are responsible for their state of mind. Even if they are deluding themselves about how much control they actually have.
I oscillate greatly between believing that who we are is predestined from birth, our temperaments and characters and coping strategies, to believing that everyone can change and better themselves and become happy and stable and strong. I’m pretty sure I have managed to change. But it’s just in such frustratingly minor and gradual ways that it is hard to see. And there are some things I’m fairly sure I will never be able to completely get rid of. But it’s just about deciding at what level I am willing to accept them. And not beating myself up, but also not expecting other people to accomodate me.
Life is harrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrd eh
Back in London and I am back to having that tight tight ball of anxiety in my tummy and I can’t sleep. I am very scared that something catastrophic will happen and I won’t have anywhere to turn, thank god I have my therapist